Stillness

15
Feb

Be still. In stillness your lips become fuller; your heart beats more coherently; your vulva re-juices itself; the soles of your feet get a rest.

And then, when you move again your whole being shines with the power of stillness.

No Persistence Here

11
Oct

This short piece of erotica was written at the invitation of @sexblogofsorts. We were asked to write a piece using the name of a classic MAC lipstick as a prompt. My lipstick name was ‘Persistence’. Here it is…..

 

I’m not sure why they named me ‘Persistence’. Trying hard really isn’t my thing.

I live in my little case, darkness wrapping me in thick nothingness.
Each day she pulls open my lid- ‘pop’ – and twists me up into the light.
I glimmer and gasp into the air. I stand plump and proud. She lifts me to her lips in front  of the bathroom mirror.
This is it.
Each day I give a tiny sliver of myself to her mouth. I glide on and – ‘pucker’ – she presses me onto her lips.
And from that moment this sliver of my soul starts to die. Every time she sips, bites, laughs, kisses or smiles, I die a little. By the end of the day I’m gone, dissolved into…..thin nothingness.
I live for her mouth.
No persistence here. Just plump and proud surrender.

Autumn Detox

21
Sep

I start a week long Ayurveda retreat today. It’s called panchakarma and is the traditional detoxing and nourishing treatment of Ayurveda. Ideally, you do this when the seasons change so I’m bang on schedule as today is Autumn Equinox.   The last couple of weeks I’ve been preparing my body with gentle detox and rest. This little vase of flowers made me think of the fullness of Autumn – rich and changeable. A time for sighs of appreciation.

The gentle preparation of the last two weeks has already had an impact Both physically and emotionally. My body feels lighter and has required more rest. On the emotional level things have shaken loose. I need to step back from an old friendship and that change occurred over the last two weeks. Layers slipping away, through grief and into peace.

The yogic and ayurvedic traditions understand that our flesh, feelings and thoughts are intertwined. Mind body and heart all detox together. The emotional detox is a natural part of the physical. So I’m taking time and space to look after all of me.

I’m dancing again

13
Sep

I’ve been on semi-sabbatical this year. I’ve spent very little time blogging, writing articles or sharing on social media. I have done very few public events. I’ve been shopping, having spa days and eating pastries in cafés. My local Carluccio’s has all but given me a pastry pass!

And I’ve been dancing again. From the first week of January I’ve been going into the studio and reconnecting with dance. It’s been a long time since I felt a front-and-centre connection with that part of myself. It went into hibernation, allowing other parts of me to wake up.

But now I’m making art with my body again.

This image was created with Mr. Benji Reid during a day in the photography-dance studio. Reflecting on the image, this is my thought:

Eros is Infinite. It has the capacity to hold All of You. Are you ready?

what is healthy eating?

24
May

Each body is unique.

It seems that every few months there is a new ‘healthy eating’ approach. Raw, paleo, gluten free, vegan, Ayurvedic (not new obviously, but new as a Western lifestyle diet), low carb, dairy free…the list goes on. They are all so different. What exactly is healthy eating?
 Your body is unique. Start paying attention to how it feels in the few hours following each meal to get a sense of what works for you and what doesn’t. You might be surprised. My body, for example, cannot abide the raw food approach.
Your body is unique. Find your own healthy.

Hair and beauty. Final day journaling my corpse pose yoga practice

7
May

Today when I lay down in shavasana I feel my hair against my neck as my head touches the ground. Abundant shiny hair. I think of Shiva’s hair – scooped up on his head, adorned by a crescent moon. The king of yogis. His hair is power and beauty. There is the sense of being adorned by your own strength – coiffed by your inner resources. Power, beauty. Inner, outer. Depth, surface. The veil between inner and outer dissolves. I notice that my body feels suspended just a teeny bit above the ground – as if there is a sheet of space between floor and flesh.

Action In Inaction. Day 13 of 14 – corpse pose yoga

6
May

Today when I lay down in shavasana I see bright light in my inner sky ( this is the space seen by the third eye, usually when the physical eyes are closed.)

My body wants to move. So I let it move. My head rotates, my arms stretch and now my body wants to dance. So I let it dance. Lying on the floor I dance. Non-shavasana. My eyes stay shut and I’m aware of the light in my inner sky.
When the body stops dancing I lay still and enjoy the feeling of prana pulsing through the fabric of my flesh and bones and blood. The light of my inner sky remains bright.
Moving shavasana. Action in inaction.
Moving through the day in an attitude of shavasana allows me to dance with whatever presents itself – spontaneous  improvisation held in the structure of relaxed allowing.

Corpse pose yoga – day 12 of 14

5
May

Today when I lay down in shavasana my arms are very close to my body which feels ramrod straight. I wonder what it would feel like for the body to be dead. Corpse pose. I think about the fact that this is a contradictory thought – a dead body wouldn’t know what it feels like to be a dead body. After a while I feel prana moving around my toes, legs and then dancing around all parts of my body from one place to the next.

A while later I suddenly get a visual in my mind’s eye of my spine with the chakras as yellow paper flowers opening when I breathe in and closing when I breathe out. Spine has become lungs….like bellows filling and emptying with air-energy. The chakra-flowers like pretty paper parasols pinging open and flopping shut. I enjoy this breath-visualisation-sensation for….I don’t know how long.
When I open my eyes I notice that a deep peace has filled me up. I lay still enjoying that for….I don’t know how long. When I get up the body moves peacefully. I notice that the room seems stiller than it did before and there is more space around each object.

 

Corpse Pose- Day 11of 14

4
May
Today when I lay down in shavasana there is a torque from my right toes through my left hip to my right shoulder. I enjoy the shape for a while then wiggle my body about to let it go. It’s the start of the day and I want to bring my frame into balance. And rest.
My head is sitting heavy on my neck. I move it about a and the heaviness is still there. I take my attention to the sensation in my throat chakra. In classical Sanskrit speech theory the throat is the third energetic centre through which sound moves before it manifests as outward speech. Navel, heart, throat, tongue – words (and their meaning) come into form as they journey through these four centres. We know what it feels like to “swallow your words”. You can feel them going back into your throat. If they are emotionally charged you can feel them go back into your heart. If they are deeply self expressive you feel them sink into the pit of your stomach. Tongue, throat, heart, navel  - the reverse arc of creation.
I notice that the heaviness in my neck has softened but not disappeared. When I focus on my throat chakra I see whirling silvery-blue light. Shiva’s stardust. And suddenly I’m meditating on his blue throat (Nila kantha). His throat is blue because he holds there the poison that is spewed by the cosmic body/ocean before the nectar of immortality arises. Poison and nectar. The throat is a place of alchemy.